Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Crazy Love and Security Blankets

This has been one of the most gut-wrenching decisions I have had to make quite some time. I am asking myself questions like:

1. Do I trust God enough to let go of my security to see how He will use me in uncharted territory?

2. Can I back up my words with my actions?

3. Do I believe that God is at work in my life, and that His plans are far superior to my own?

4. How powerful is my pride? I have taught at WV for six years. I'm the Dept. Chair, sponsor of National Junior Honor Society, data team, and have a favorable reputation in the community. Are these accomplishments MY accomplishments? OR can I lay these at the feet of my Savior and offer them up to Him as thanks and praise for allowing me the opportunity to serve HIM, not myself, to the best of my ability?

5. Will I allow fear into my mind, or trust that God is true to His word?

6. Will I allow myself to be free to serve Him wherever He calls me without a backwards glance into what might have been?

7. Will I be grateful to have been given the opportunity to pour my life into children who might not have another person who cares about them or tells them they matter?

8. Will I live with a "Kingdom"mindset, or will I look for what is easy and convenient for me?

9. Will I miss the comforts of the familiar...my classroom, my view of the mountains, my brand-new activboard, my big closet, my, my, my...nothing was ever mine. Nothing.

10. Will I claim and live Jeremiah 29:11?

I have already seen first-hand how this choice influences my children. I was upset, emotional, in tears this afternoon when Addie noticed and got worried about me. I explained to her that the thought of children who have no one who loves them, takes care of them, and teaches them that they are fearfully and wonderfully made- my heart breaks for them.

I explained that I want to use my God-given gifts to meet a need in our community, even if it means I leave WVMS.

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